Living Large

Dear Brother-in-Law visited my Dear Mother this week. He thought she looked great! “You look great!” he told her. “You’ve put on some weight!”

Uh-oh.

Dear Sister and I know better. We agree that DM does not want to hear that. No matter how tiny she is now, a lifetime of conditioning makes weight gain hard to accept as a compliment.

DBIL’s comment reminded me of a story about my dad from about 15 years ago. DD and DM were visiting me. You may remember that DM likes to be helpful. (See birdbath story.) And DD liked to keep company with DM. Together they were helping me fold some clothes to take to Goodwill. As if it were yesterday, I can see the scene: my father lifting a pair of my jeans out of the box, holding them up by the waist, and declaring with great enthusiasm: “Look at the enormous bottom on these pants!!!”

!!!

Although his remark was spoken, I am quite sure the !!! were in the original. He was tickled to be observing what appeared to him to be an extreme phenomenon. As if he were observing “enormous sunspots” (he was an amateur astronomer) or an “enormous ice cream sundae” (he had a sweet tooth). He might say, “look at that enormous boa constrictor!!!” (he was a snake enthusiast*).

He was tickled by “the enormous bottom!!!”

I was not. Then. But somehow the distance of time transforms my scowl into a smile.

DD would have been 84 this week. He lived large, and tiny DM does, too, in her own way.

*New vocabulary word: ophiophile, a snake enthusiast. I would have guessed herpophile. I think the word I was reaching for is herpetophile, which means, unless AI is pulling my leg (tail?), someone who loves all reptiles and amphibians. Makes me think of DD’s guest post on this blog where he wrote about his own DM, my Dear Grandma, the world’s sweetest herpetophobe: The Mother, The Anoles, and The Mealy Worms.