I was at a New Year’s party. It was catered and servers were passing trays. Everything was really yummy, including the coconut shrimp. The poor guy, though, who kept approaching people with his shrimp plate. After a time, he got a lot of polite refusals. As a parent and a person who works with young […]
One Thing That I Wish Someone Would Say About Me
This post is a companion to the previous one. One thing I wish someone would say about me, from this classic scene: At 1:32: “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Three Things That No One Has Ever Said About Me
From Jenny Offill’s Department of Speculation, Three things that no one has ever said about me: You make it look so easy. You are very mysterious. You need to take yourself more seriously. In 2003, when I was at Duke, the school released a study about the experience of women at all levels of the […]
A Rather Fabulous Sense of Insouciance
Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic, writing about her parents: They were responsible people. Taxpayers. Solid. Voted for Reagan. (Twice!) I learned how to be a rebel from them. Because—just beyond the reach of their basic good citizenship—my parents did whatever the hell they wanted to do with their lives, and they did it with a […]
Anniversary of Motherhood
Today is my anniversary of motherhood, otherwise known as my older child’s birthday. I’ve been thinking a lot about parenthood recently. The following warning has already been delivered to the relevant people: You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved […]
A Parent’s Job: Parents’ and a Count’s Thoughts
Fifteen years ago, I attended my mother’s retirement party. For thirty years, my mother worked in various staff roles at a large public university. She was a generous mentor to many junior colleagues, and she was a trusted confidante to academic administrators. At the party, people had the chance to say a few words about […]
How Do You Get Students to Read the Syllabus?
I sent some resources to the new instructors in my division. One of them wrote back with a question, “how do you get students to read the syllabus?” I tried googling it: how do you get students to read the syllabus? Apparently, I am not up the latest “Easter Egg” techniques: hide a request for […]
Is No a Complete Sentence?
My mother-in-law once told me, “No is a complete sentence.” At the time, I mentally filed this pronouncement with other Al-Anon maxims like One Day at a Time, Easy Does It, and I Cannot Give What I Do Not Have. Hard to argue with the helpful vibe, but not clear how to change my behavior […]
What’s Important to You is Important to Me. That’s Love.
A childhood friend posted a 40-minute video of a rebbetzin giving a public lecture about love. Let’s break down that sentence. Childhood friend = good. 40-minute video = not good! rebbetzin = what is that? The friend is an Orthodox Jew. Rebbetzin sounds religious. This is NOT going to be for me. public lecture = […]