Some negotiations are complicated dances. Others can be stripped down. If I am in the dance setting, I try to put my Getting To Yes skills to work. I know I am supposed to identify the underlying issues for both sides and keep an open mind about the resolution. But sometimes, dammit, there is something […]
Blog
You Get What You Settle For
Today’s thought, courtesy of that awesome dynamic duo, Thelma and Louise: “You get what you settle for!”
Pecking Order
Academic institutions have a rigid hierarchy. The effects of that hierarchy are everywhere. Most of those effects are not good, so when I see them, I mutter to myself, Nothing like a pecking order to make you want to peck someone. I had always attributed this saying to David Rakoff, from his book Don’t Get […]
Kindness Rocks in Boulder, CO
I learned about kindness rocks from Pinterest. The idea is simple: painted rocks with encouraging, inspirational, sweet, or just kind messages. I loved this idea. Our front yard includes some sections of rock garden. I smiled at the thought of the neighborhood kids discovering special, painted rocks among the drab, regular ones. I spent a […]
Girlfriendship: The Case for a New Nobel Prize
Dear Husband is in the doghouse. In uncharacteristic restraint, I am not going to share all the gory details here. This too shall pass, and I don’t need a transcript of it on the web. Nobody does. Why then, you may ask, bring it up at all? In the spirit of noticing silver linings, here […]
Self-Absorption
Yes, I blog. About my life. It’s a little self-absorbed, I know. I don’t pretend otherwise. Did you notice that the logo for this blog is me talking to myself? In Don’t Get too Comfortable, David Rakoff writes about his moment of peak self-absorption: My fasting program warns me to stay vigilant against unhealthy ego […]
Women In Math
You may have seen this flyer making the rounds on social media: According to the BYU Math Department, the flyer design was not satire, but instead, well-intentioned outreach. No hard feelings, at least from me. I visit the Math Department on our campus often. The walls have lots of interesting attractions: flyers, posters describing research, […]
Coconut Shrimp
I was at a New Year’s party. It was catered and servers were passing trays. Everything was really yummy, including the coconut shrimp. The poor guy, though, who kept approaching people with his shrimp plate. After a time, he got a lot of polite refusals. As a parent and a person who works with young […]
Three Things That No One Has Ever Said About Me
From Jenny Offill’s Department of Speculation, Three things that no one has ever said about me: You make it look so easy. You are very mysterious. You need to take yourself more seriously. In 2003, when I was at Duke, the school released a study about the experience of women at all levels of the […]
Is No a Complete Sentence?
My mother-in-law once told me, “No is a complete sentence.” At the time, I mentally filed this pronouncement with other Al-Anon maxims like One Day at a Time, Easy Does It, and I Cannot Give What I Do Not Have. Hard to argue with the helpful vibe, but not clear how to change my behavior […]