A funny post floated by in my Facebook stream containing “tips from a teenager.” Some of the tips:
when the trash is full put more trash on it
when you need something specific from the store ask if you can stay in the car
if you scrunch up a towel correctly you can make it stay wet f.o.r.e.v.e.r.
the water you accidentally spilled makes the floor slippery quickly exit to safety
the ground is your closet’s largest shelf use it accordingly
The words are funny, but the graphic presentation of the tips make them even funnier. Check them out: https://www.facebook.com/teenagerprotips/.
But wait! I am no longer a mother of teenagers. As my father eloquently declared a few years ago, I have survived the shoals of adolescence. Notice the subtle metaphor: parenting as potential shipwreck. Have I mentioned that “optimism that everything will work out” was not on tap in my childhood?
I feel completely qualified to give this tip from a purebred pessimist:
destruction can happen at any moment
Happily, this teenager tip is a distant memory:
740am school dropoff 736-738am ask “can you sign these school forms?”
But this teenager tip is alive and well in my life:
wait a few weeks to unpack
Weeks? I WISH!
So some of the teenager’s tips have a long shelf life. Come to think of it, “quickly exit to safety” stands the test of time.
destruction can happen quickly exit to safety
There. Much better. And as for the indefinitely delayed unpacking:
your house is a mess ask if you can stay in the car